Dear Jackie…Eat Food For Dinner

Dear Jackie,

A cup of hot chocolate with 10 giant marshmallows floating on top… is not a dinner. And eating it after 10:30pm? Sigh.

Love,

Your Best Self

Mucho Comedy Mondays: When Your Mom Tries to Recap the Golden Globes

I need a translator for my mom when award season comes around (she calls me Mama)

Mami: “Mama, I love Gus. He was so sweet at the Golden Globes.”

Me: “Ma, who is Gus?”

Mami: “Mama,  Raz Gaslin. He thanked his wife for raising his daughters. He’s so sweet.”

Me: “Oh. You mean Ryan Gosling.”

Mami: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Raz Gaslin, if you’re out there, my mom appreciates you.

Mucho Comedy Mondays: When You Ask Your Dad to be in Your Webseries

I’m writing a web series about being the child of immigrant parents, and asked my Dad (Papi, a real life immigrant) to play the Dad in the series. This is how our conversation went:

Me: “Papi, I want you to be in my web series. You have to play yourself.”

Papi: “On camera?”

Me: “Si, Papi.”

Papi: “I turn around and a camera is filming behind me? Like those shows on Bravo? No, Yackie. No. Ask your mom. She likes Bravo.”

Sigh.

Mucho Comedy Mondays: Men vs. Women in the Classroom

My Final Cut Pro editing class consists of all men except for me and another woman. The dynamic of the class goes as follows:

Overheard from the women in class:

“It’s so cold in here.”

“Can you go over that cut again? I don’t understand it”

“Ugh. I’m still looking for the pen in my purse.”

“Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.”

“Can you explain that cut again?”

“I need help.”

“Yes! The audio and picture finally sync!”

“How do we get better at this?”

Snorting and laughter. (Snorting from yours truly)

 

Overheard from the men:

Silence.