“She Knows,” A Ne-Yo song parody where women are hit on for the size of their books, rather than the size of their boobs. Written, produced and starring yours truly:
When I first heard the song, “She Knows,” naively I thought it was celebrating smart women, until I watched the video and realized it was about women who knew how to strip on a pole. I was so offended that I said, “No, I won’t let hip-hip or men define us this way anymore,” and as a result wrote a song that empowers women and celebrates us for our minds.
My wish? For women and men to speak up and take these images of women being portrayed as sexual objects personally – not dismissing it as the “media” or cultural norm. If we continue to perpetuate these images, we will struggle to raise confident, healthy and well-rounded girls.
This video represents what I know women to be: Hard-working, intelligent, engaged with the world, silly, fierce and will gladly yell at the television during a Presidential debate.
About 50 days ago I made a commitment to myself to write a blog post every day for an entire year. Most people do 30, 50 or 100 day challenges, but I said “No, I need to be on my ‘A” game with writing. I need to post something every day.” The word post was loose too. It could be anything- a quote, comedy piece, meme video- anything that felt right to post that day. I didn’t want to give myself any sort of limitations except I had to create something every day; it would be a lesson in holding myself accountable for commitments and putting myself out there. When I told people what I was doing they typically responded with “That’s great- but it’s a lot of work. Let’s see how long you can keep it up for.” And of course my very stubborn and driven self would say silently “It’s a lot of work, but I will push forward. Don’t underestimate me” Then smile – because that’s what I do. Smile and give myself a silent pep talk.
Then life happened. I had other projects I started developing, work commitments, etc. I used to look forward to writing to my blog and now it became a burden. Giving myself the goal of creating something everything day was great until I was getting home at 11pm from rehearsal and staring at my computer saying to myself, “You made your bed, now you have to lay in it.” Kind of cruel, right? If I have the opportunity and privilege to share my voice- it should be well thought out and executed. Work will always be imperfect and it’s our job to show our work, but not when it becomes consistently rushed and coming from a place of, “too bad, you made this promise to yourself and have to follow through.” There’s definitely value in that and necessary areas in my life, but there’s also great value in being honest with myself and admitting, “Well, I tried really hard to meet these expectations and they are not realistic anymore.” I can either continue posting (sometimes) half-assed work everyday or post well-thought out work a few times a week. I am choosing the ladder.
I am proud of myself for setting an ambitious goal, but even more proud for admitting I failed to reach it and can adjust my expectations. My new goal is to post at least once a week no matter what and see what happens. I may post every day one week or post a few times the next- as long as I meet my once a week deadline. Maybe in the future I can commit to this 100%, but sometimes I need to train steadily before I sign up for a writing marathon. This is a lot more manageable and can give my other creative children that time they deserve, too. Creative parenting is a very real thing.
I’ve failed and it feels great. Embracing it, and having the opportunity to see what works and doesn’t work. I’m a newbie to all of this and hopefully can work toward posting thoughtful material every day.
Phew. I feel like I just took my emotional top off. Always trying my best to keep it real here. Let’s see what happens!
Hamilton at the White House. Amazing!
My Final Cut Pro editing class consists of all men except for me and another woman. The dynamic of the class goes as follows:
Overheard from the women in class:
“It’s so cold in here.”
“Can you go over that cut again? I don’t understand it”
“Ugh. I’m still looking for the pen in my purse.”
“Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.”
“Can you explain that cut again?”
“I need help.”
“Yes! The audio and picture finally sync!”
“How do we get better at this?”
Snorting and laughter. (Snorting from yours truly)
Overheard from the men:
Waiter: “Ma’am, do you need me to bring you something?”
Me: “Oh, no. Sorry. I was just dancing.”
Thanks, Zumba. You help keep everyone on their toes around me.
A dear friend of mine brought this letter to my attention today. It’s a letter written by W.E.B. Dubois to his daughter when she first left to college in 1914. This was before women were allowed to vote and the Civil Rights Movement – you can imagine social and political climate this young girl face at her school. He wrote to her some of the most poignant life advice I’ve read in a long time:
.”..Above all remember, dear, that you have a great opportunity. You are in one of the world’s best schools, in one of the world’s greatest modern empires. Millions of boys and girls all over this world would give almost anything they possess to be where you are. You are there by no desert or merit of yours, but only by lucky chance.
Deserve it, then. Study, do your work. Be honest, frank and fearless and get some grasp of the real values of life. You will meet, of course, curious little annoyances. People will wonder at your dear brown and the sweet crinkley hair. But that simply is of no importance and will soon be forgotten. Remember that most folk laugh at anything unusual, whether it is beautiful, fine or not. You, however, must not laugh at yourself. You must know that brown is as pretty as white or prettier and crinkley hair as straight even though it is harder to comb. The main thing is the YOU beneath the clothes and skin — the ability to do, the will to conquer, the determination to understand and know this great, wonderful, curious world. Don’t shrink from new experiences and custom. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bed-room. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not. Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul.”