DUMS- For Smart Women!

Raise your hand if you’re a self-aware woman, and would love to dumb yourself here and there. You know, a quick “dumb” hit. Ah yes, you’re all raising your hand.
With the current political climate, social movements, and the normalization of mass violence, I’ve said to myself over the past year, “God, I wish I can be dumb. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad” And DUMS was born.
Check it out on WhoHaha too. An awesome comedic website from Elizabeth Banks that showcases women in comedy.  
And if you like what you see, subscribe to my channel here to keep up to date wth all of the funnies I release.
Keep moving and shaking,
Jacqueline

 

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How I found out Papi had Instagram

My Dad (Papi) was born in Cuba. I (Yackie) was born in the U.S. We get tripped up sometimes:

Papi: “J. Lo keeps emailing me.”

Me: “Emailing you? Papi, I don’t think J. Lo emails you.”

Papi: “Si, Yackie. She sends me pictures.”

Me: “Did you download Instagram.”

Papi: “Insta-que? No! Es pictures. Como Kodak.”

Me: ” Yeah, Papi. You definitely downloaded Instagram.”

“Dear Jackie,” Letters from My Best Self

Jacqueline is my legal name. My “stage” name. The name I use to communicate to the world that I am an adult and deserve your trust. Then there’s “Jackie.” Jackie is…well, an untamed poodle. Jacqueline gets stuff done and has a raging intolerance for injustice. Jackie on the other hand knocks on her roommate’s door early to ask her if she heard her dancing to Beyonce at 1am the night before. Completely sober.

Jackie is me in my purest form and Jacqueline is my best self. Jackie needs a lot of taming and Jacqueline saves Jackie’s life several times a day. So I’m going to start writing letters from my best self to Jackie. Aka transcribed conversations I have with myself. Every day.

“Dear Jackie,

It took you 7 sentences longer than needed to get to your point. Trust that people will get it.

Love,

Your Best Self

Mucho Comedy Mondays: When Your Mom Tries to Recap the Golden Globes

I need a translator for my mom when award season comes around (she calls me Mama)

Mami: “Mama, I love Gus. He was so sweet at the Golden Globes.”

Me: “Ma, who is Gus?”

Mami: “Mama,  Raz Gaslin. He thanked his wife for raising his daughters. He’s so sweet.”

Me: “Oh. You mean Ryan Gosling.”

Mami: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Raz Gaslin, if you’re out there, my mom appreciates you.

Mucho Comedy Mondays: When You Ask Your Dad to be in Your Webseries

I’m writing a web series about being the child of immigrant parents, and asked my Dad (Papi, a real life immigrant) to play the Dad in the series. This is how our conversation went:

Me: “Papi, I want you to be in my web series. You have to play yourself.”

Papi: “On camera?”

Me: “Si, Papi.”

Papi: “I turn around and a camera is filming behind me? Like those shows on Bravo? No, Yackie. No. Ask your mom. She likes Bravo.”

Sigh.